#x Christmas 2021

[itneedsmoregays]

Now this was definitely worth waiting for!

I wanna give a massive thanks to @eepycard for this splendid pair of commissions of Ash and Steff, both festive and regular! His art style is insanely adorable!

[betterdeadthansmeg]

I don't understand Rimmer at all. A universe with at least eight Listers sounds delightful.

[sdwolfpup]

Everything I have to share from Our souls lie down in the grass is spoilery as heck, so instead here's a bit from a currently untitled Christmas rom com fic I'm nearly done with. Brienne is in love with her bff Jaime and he's coming home for Christmas with her.

Brienne's grip on the steering wheel is murderous now. Inappropriate thoughts about Jaime are nothing new, but inappropriate thoughts about Jaime on Christmas feel especially wrong. He's here to spend the holidays with his friend and her family and nothing more. Her only job is to make sure he feels welcome, and thinking about unwrapping him like a present is not welcoming at all. The lights of the cars ahead of her turn on so she starts her car too, and Jaime stretches out in the seat, legs taking up the entire seat well, hands rubbing down his muscular thighs. Brienne resigns herself to being a subpar host.

[sl-newsie]

A Normal Christmas (Riff Lorton x OC) *Christmas Special* 🎄

Summary: Riff has never had a ‘normal’ Christmastime, so his girlfriend takes him around to finally get a Christmas tree.

“Wait. What?” I ask in a deadpan tone.

“You hoid me,” Riff replies from the couch. “Never had a tree.”

I blink, my jaw still dragging on the floor. It’s currently December 23, and every time I’ve visited Riff this month I keep waiting for him to get a tree for his apartment. And there’s still no tree! I got so anxious I finally just flat-out asked him why he hadn’t got one yet, only to find out he had no clue why he needed a Christmas tree.

“How are you so calm about this? How have you never had a tree?” I ask with wide eyes.

Riff lets out a deep sigh and shuffles over to the kitchen. “I donno. It’s just…” He scratches his head. “My family’s never really done Christmas.”

I scrunch my nose. “Never done Christmas? How does that even happen-? Oh.” My face falls and realization washes over me. 

Riff chuckles. “Grow’n up with little spare change can’t really buy Christmas. After my dad died I just sorta forgot about it. I know it’s supposed to be all grand and exciting, but to me Christmas is just like any odda holiday.”

“Oh my God. Riff, I’m so sorry.” I walk over and take his hand. “I’m sorry Christmas isn’t as special for you. It’s a time-a year that’s supposed to be with family and friends, good food and decorations…” An idea pops into my head and I start dragging him to the door.

“Wait- Wha-? Holly, whaddya doing?” Riff tries to ask.

“All this mope’n around stops now.” I open the door and grab my coat. “Tonight I’m gonna take you to get a Christmas tree.”

The handsome Jet chuckles and tries to wave it off. “That’s real sweet-a ya, Holy. But you don’t gotta-”

“Yes I do!” I stop to face him when we reach the stairwell. “Riff, you’ve never had a real Christmas your whole life. I wanna make it up to you because I luv you. Please?”

Riff goes to argue, but when he sees my pleading eyes he shuts his mouth and rethinks. Instead of answering, Riff wraps me into a tight hug.

“Gee, doll. I donno how to thank you.”

I smile. “You can thank me by helping me carry the tree home. Now let’s go!”

The nearest tree lot is only a few blocks away, and as soon as we enter the gate Riff is already confused.

“So they chop the trees down, drive them here and just… leave them out?”

I nod as I look over a nice and sturdy spruce. “Yeah. Since folks in the city don’t got nearby woods, it’s easier to bring them here. Whaddya think-a this one?”

Riff takes a good look at the pinetree I’m presenting that’s almost as tall as me. “Is it supposed to be small?”

My smile falters by a fraction. “Well… not really. But the bigger the tree the bigger the price. I can only afford a table topper tree.”

The Jet scrunches his face. “A table topper tree? What the heck does that mean?”

“It’s a tree that rich folks put on their dining tables for decoration.”

Riff’s jaw drops. “You mean that whole tree goes on a flip’n table? Jeez, this tradition is weird.”

“Do you mind the small one?” I ask in an uneasy tone.

“I think it’s poifect, Holly.” Riff gets a grateful smile on his face. “Now let me hold up my end-a the bargain and carry it home.”

“Let’s hurry!” I start to shiver. “I hoid there’s supposed to be snow tonight.”

Back at Riff’s apartment we find a spot for the tree by the window. Since it’s small we only have to use cinder blocks to keep in place. Once we’ve finished, Riff gets an odd look.

“Looks good, right?”

I smirk and start pull’n out the box I brought from home. “We ain’t done yet, Lorton. We gotta decorate it.”

“With wha-? Oh my God. How much did you bring?”

I let out a carefree laugh as I set out strings of popcorn, a few cheap ornaments, some tinsel, and an old angel.

“A few things from home. I made the angel when I was a kid. And-” I skip over and hand the angel to Riff. “You get to put it on the top!”

Riff gently takes the angel as if I’d just given him a hundred dollars.

“Holly, this… this is the greatest gift ever. Thank you!”

I let out a laugh. “Riff, I’ll admit your gratefulness and enthusiasm is appreciated, but it’s just an angel.”

He gawks at me and sets the angel down, then cups my face in his hands.

“Holly, this ain’t just an angel. It’s you give’n me a real Christmas that’s so special. I don’t even know what gift to get you to say thank-you.”

I wrap my arms around his head and press a kiss on his cheek. “You already did, Riff. You gave up rumbles, you made peace with the Jets. Just the assurance of know’n you’ll come home in one piece is a gift in itself.”

We each lean in to hug, a few seconds go by, and Riff stays silent. After a while I feel him starting to shake and move away to see tears streaming down his worn face.

“I- You- This… I donno what to say, Holly.” He looks to me as a lost sheep who found its shepherd. 

I use my thumb to wipe away his tears. “A simple Merry Christmas is plenty enough. Just remember to be the grateful man I know you are, especially around this holy season.”

Riff chokes down more tears and whispers: “Merry Christmas, Holly. I luv you.”

“I know. I luv you too, Jet boy. Now let’s finish decorating this tree before you eat all the popcorn!” I hold up a finger before Riff can argue. “Don’t think I can’t see you snacking on it behind my back! It ain’t for eating, it’s for decoration.”

Riff rolls his eyes. “Alright, alright. Do I still get to eat the cookies you brought over?”

My grin widens. “Yes! I’ll go get them, be right back!” I dash into the kitchen and retrieve a red tin from the counter, then turn around to find that Riff has followed behind me and is waiting with a puppy-eyed expression.

“Can I have a cookie, please?”

The scene almost makes me burst out laugh’n. “The once vicious, fearless Jet leader is begging me for a cookie? Wow, times have changed!”

Riff shows mock offense and tackles me in a hug. “They’re your Christmas cookies, and the best ones I’s ever tasted. Now will ya let me have one or will I have to use other methods to get one?” He starts tickl’n my sides and I go into spasms of laughter.

“Riff Lorton- stop- Stop it! Here here- take it!” I cackle as I shove over the cookie tin. Riff removes the lid and his eyes light up at the sight-a the bright-frosted cookies. “There. Happy now-? Oh!” Before I finish, Riff shoves a cookie into my mouth and then takes one for himself.

“Oh my God,” he mumbles as his eyes roll back in pleasure. “This is without a doubt the best thing you’s ever baked, Holly.”

After I’ve chewed and swallowed my cookie I give his hand a squeeze. “Thank you, Riff. Now that you’s had your sugar high can we finish decorating?”

Instead of answering, Riff sweeps me up and carries me back to the tree. “‘Course we can, doll. Just curious- whadda we do once it’s decorated?”

“You put gifts under it and open them on Christmas morning,” I explain as I resume hanging ornaments.

“Oh. Alright.” I feel Riff come up behind me and outta nowhere he rolls me beneath the branches. “There! You’re my gift, Holly!”

I blink. His pun is sweet, but the thought-a be’n Riff’s Christmas gift is even sweeter. 

“You’re my gift too, Riff.” I take his hand and bring him closer to join me under the beautiful but humble tree. “Merry Christmas, Jet boy.”

Riff pecks my lips and gives me a genuine smile. “Merry Christmas, darling.”

[guccio2024]

A luberto snow white fanfic request chapter 1. (I'll post pt.4 of my albertos first Christmas later on.)

"So... we're going to Genova for Christmas?" Asked alberto "Sí, alberto so you can meet Maria and you'll get to see gulila and luca." Said massimo while waiting for the train. Around 6 minutes later the train pulled into the station and they borded the train. Massimo spent the train ride listening to albertos stories and his ideas of what he wanted to do when he got to Genova. As they got off the train gulila and luca ran forward and hugged alberto tightly and Maria walked over to massimo and hugged him then helped him with albertos bag then as the family walked towards the car and stuck alberto's and massimos bags Into the trunck the underdogs talked about everything they wanted to do while they were there. Massimo and Maria talked over their espressos and alberto, gulila, and luca talked about the play the school was going to do it three days. The next day the gulila, luca, and alberto, who was dragged along, went to the school to meet up with the other kids who were going to be playing in the play when they got there the teacher broke the news that the kid who was going to play the prince florian, Carlos, had broken his leg and couldn't play the part. "We might have to cancel the play, kids." Said Mrs. Ramona disappointed. The whole group of kids had been looking forward to this all year as the sounds of kids being disappointed filled the room gulila got an idea. "Hey, Mrs. Ramona, can I talk to you for a moment?" Asked gulila. "Sure, kids I will be right back." "So, gulila what did you wanna ask?" "So I know its a school play for students only but could my brother be a stand in for Carlos, he would fit the role perfectly please." Gulila, Gulila, per favore, calm down. Can you let me meet him first." Gulila ran into the room and grabbed albertos arm and dragged him out into the hall to see if he could fill the role. "Okay Class, we have a new stand in to fill in Carlos place." Said Mrs. Ramona as gulila dove back into her chair next to luca. "His name is alberto." "Gulila what did you do." Demanded luca. "Shut up the teacher is talking." "You better know what your doing gulila." Whispered luca.

[dollsome-does-tumblr]

Roman/Gerri, 535 words. Roman and Gerri wind up in a supply closet at the Waystar Christmas party. For business reasons.

[odditycircus-2002]

Happy Holidays from Sunny Crystal🎄⭐️

The crown Jewel of Crystal Theater Inc�� No matter what holiday you celebrate, Sunny wishes for it to be a merry one for you!

You can also bet her fiancé, Jimmy Crystal, has heart eyes to see his bride to be performing for all of Redshore city🤩😍😍😍

[knightofplushart]

Happy Holidays I actually do not consider this to be a redraw of the Christmas piece I did last year (which I will also include in this post since I never posted it here, the one for this year is the one of them sitting on the present), I just wanted to do something similar!

[stellato-17]

Captain Mizuki

Merry Christmas!!! 😃❄💙

[jasonsutekh]

A Boy Called Christmas (2021)

A young boy’s father goes to find a magical place of elves once found by his late wife, when his father doesn’t return he and his talking mouse go on an expedition to find him and the elves.

 The actors all worked well enough together and there were a number of famous faces scattered throughout. It was surprising how tolerable the comic relief character was as they usually get irritating. The framing device also worked out well enough and was consistently spaced apart so it was made to remain relevant.

 Although it makes sense on a metatextual perspective, it was still odd that an entire story about Finnish people was cast by people with English accents. When they eventually get to the elf village the reveal isn’t as effective as it could have been because the place is relatively small, unsurprising since they’re elves, but still underwhelming.

 Some of the lore tied in nicely with the back story and it was interesting to see a few of the other creatures related to the mythology of the area. One of the most amusing aspects of the narrative is how the humans accidentally introduce the elves to fascism on their second visit to the village.

 There’s an odd repeated trope about dead parents which is incongruously un-festive but served the story at least. One ethical quandary stands out in which a good character outright kills a troll. The most disappointing part of the ending was that the aunt gets a present which she very much doesn’t deserve, considering there’s a crucial part of the Santa story about being nice.

 5/10 -Can’t find a better example of average-

[itneedsmoregays]

Nothing says Christmas like two girlfriends making a gingerbread house together.

Massive thanks to the lovely @trashyourash for this wonderful commission!

[healthsweatin]

#fit #food #meal #christmas #nocheat #eat #xoxo #xmas #x #sandwich #green #2021 #/ #2022 https://www.instagram.com/p/CX5dkO6qmrh/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[thrall-of-the-hill]

nate & dorian - 2021

[sl-newsie]

Merry Little Christmas (Baby John x OC) *Christmas Special* 🎄

Summary: Baby John invites his best friend to spend Christmas with him and his mother.

Usually the holidays are supposed to be a time to celebrate time with family. But when you’ve grown up being an orphan, family is a very loose term.

“No, no! For the last time, Jonathon Feld, no!” I argue as I try to see through the blinding snow, clutching my ragged coat around me.

“It’s no trouble, Kelly. Please!”

Here’s the trouble: I’ve known Johnny nearly my whole life, and he’s being overly generous. Every year I’ve usually had a family to spend Christmas with, whether it be through church, the orphanage, or even some-a the Jet families. But this year everyone’s either too busy or already has plans. At first I was disappointed, but learned to accept it. The problem is that once Johnny heard about my predicament he immediately insisted that I spend Christmas with his family.

“Johnny, you know I can’t do that!” I debate as we make our way through Central Park. “That’s your time with your mother! I’m not going to impose on that.”

“You won’t be!” The youngest Jet tries to assure me. “My ma would luv you, you know that! She’d never turn anyone down at Christmas.”

After we get past the next snowbank I turn to face him. “That’s my point, John. I won’t make anyone feel obligated to take me in just because they feel sorry for me. You guys deserve time to yourselves, especially since this is your first Christmas without your father.”

For a split second Baby John gets a somber look in his eyes, but then shakes it away.

“Yeah, it’ll be different this year. But you need to have someone to celebrate Christmas with. You won’t impose, I promise! I know just as much as you about all the different families you’ve hopped from, and I wanna give you a real Christmas. Please? It’ll be my gift to you.”

I open my mouth to keep declining, but he holds up a hand. “And before you say that you don’t need a gift, forget it! You always sell yourself short and give what you have to others without any thought of yourself.” He grabs my hand and starts leading me down the wrong side of the fork in the path. “You’re spending Christmas with me, no buts about it. For God’s sake, it’s a blizzard out here!”

I can’t believe it. I’m being forced into this?!

I try to tug away but John’s hold stays firm. “You can’t make me-!”

“Yes, I can,” Johnny says cockily and gives me a devilish grin. “You lost that card game to me last week, so you owe me.”

I scrunch my nose in confusion as he continues to lead me through the deep snow.

“So… I repay you by you forcing me to spend Christmas with you? That seems contradictive.”

“Too late! We’re already here,” Baby John smiles with glee as he leads me up the stairs to his apartment. It’s small to him, but to me it’s a mansion. I’ve always told Johnny how lucky he is to have a permanent roof over his head.

Before I can reject him again, Baby John pushes me inside and shuts the door.

“Ma! I’m home! I brought Kelly with me!”

In no less than 5 seconds, John’s mother comes rushing into the hallway to embrace me in a giant hug.

“Willkommen, dear child! Come in, come in!” She gushes and starts examining me top to bottom. “Are you hungry? Sweet child, you are freezing! Come here and sit by the fire.”

I can barely get a word in! “Thank you, Mrs. Feld. I’m sorry for showing up last minute, but your son insisted-”

“Ma, I invited Kelly to spend Christmas with us because she’s alone this year. Is that ok?”

Mrs. Feld looks as if Johnny’s just asked if snow is cold. “Is that even a question? Of course she can stay! You kids go warm up and chat, I will finish preparing dinner.”

Immediately I start following her to the kitchen apologizing for intruding and offering to pitch in, but she just shoos me away.

“Nonsense! You are welcomed here any time, child! You are Johnny’s dearest friend, and we are honored to have you here.”

She hurries back down the hall and I’m left with Baby John, who ushers me to the tiny living room. Inside there’s a humble tree set up next to the couch with a few decorations. One might say that this meager-looking household isn’t worth much, but to me it’s priceless.

“Here, Kelly! You can sit here.” John pats the couch and throws me a blanket. “Are you warm enough?”

Indeed, there’s a warm feeling spreading through me faster than wildfire.

I give him a smile and drape the soft blanket over my shoulders. “I- Yes, I am! Come on, you sit down too. You’s just as bushed as I am.”

Johnny obliges and jumps onto the small couch next to me, while I’m trying so hard not to get carried away. But it doesn’t help when he scooches in even closer.

“Thank you, Johnny.” I playfully ruffle his hair. “You- You can’t imagine how much this means to me! I just wish there was something I could give you.”

His childish face shows bright eyes and a kind smile. “Kelly, you’s my best friend. That’s as good a gift as anything in the world.”

I scoff. “Johnny, I luv ya dearly, but someday I’m gonna repay ya for this-”

I cut myself off, because Baby John has a new look that appears as if I just sprouted wings.

“Kelly, you said… Do you- You luv me?”

I stay quiet, letting an eerie silence settle in. What am I supposed to say? ‘Yes, John. I’ve luved you ever since you first said “hi,” and still can’t believe that a nice guy like you hasn’t got a goil yet.?’ I simmer over every different response in my head, and can’t think of a way I can squeeze outta this.

After taking a deep breath, I force myself to look over at my innocent friend.

“Yes. I do, Johnny. Is that wrong, since you’ve helped me out so much? How could I not?” I give a noivous laugh. “I mean, given how considerate and adorable I don’t understand how you’s haven’t had goil lining up just to meet ya.”

Usually I’s a fan of being blunt, but in this scenario it’s like my heart just got stabbed with an icicle. How could I say that? John invited me to spend Christmas with him and I gotta start gush’n ‘bout how luvsick I am!

 It doesn’t help that Baby John’s just sitting there, mouth opened wide and eyes nearly popping outta his face. Now I’ve ruined everything.

I give a heavy sigh and give him a pat on the shoulder before I start walking toward the exit. “I’m sorry, John. I understand if, uh, you don’t wanna talk now. Thanks again for inviting me here. Merry Chri-!”

“How could you ever think I didn’t already luv you?” Johnny interrupts, and my face freezes. “Kelly, I’ve invited you to every family event in the past year, get heated up whenever anodda guy so much as looks at you, and, heck, literally just got the blessing from my ma to ask you out yesterday!” He rushes over to me and blocks my path, meanwhile I have no inkling as to how to respond. But I don’t have to, because John knows exactly what I’m thinking and comfortingly takes my hand. “I’m noivous too, angel. So… here it goes.” He gulps and licks his lips anxiously. “Uh, Kelly… Would you maybe wanna go out sometime this week after Christmas? Maybe when it’s not a billion degrees below zero?”

My whole body is shaking, tears threatening to spill. Did I hear that right? 

“Is this real?” I whisper almost too quietly. “Not like one-a those movies? I- I donno what to say. No one’s wanted me enough to let me stay. Is… This is real?”

Baby John looks almost as out of place as I feel, but takes the foist move to bring his warm hands up to cup my face. “It may not seem so, but yes.” A wide smile spreads over his eager face. “This is real, Kelly. I didn’t know what it was until Riff pointed it out. I’ve luved you for a very long time now, and I’d like to properly ask you out.”

I respond by nodding repeatedly and a surprised but grateful “Yes!” And with that, Johnny desperately slants forward and presses an intriguingly soft kiss to my lips. Testing the waters. When he sees I’m ok with it, he leans in for a deeper, more determined kiss. In the span of 30 seconds, Baby John wraps his arms around my waist, guides me back to the couch, and helps me settle down next to him all without breaking the kiss. When we lean apart he rests his forehead on mine all the while his eyes never leave mine.

“Merry Christmas, Kelly.”

My face melts at the sight-a his soft eyes, and can barely speak. “Thank you, Johnny. For everything”

We both hear a hushed commotion coming from the hallway, and turn to see Baby John’s mother nearly jumping with joy.

“At last! At last!” She cheers as she comes over to pinch our cheeks. “You two go so well together, and I finally have the hope to have grandchildren one day!”

 Both John and I exchange looks of bewilderment.

“Jeez, ma! I just asked her out!”

“One thing at a time, please?” I ask shyly. “For now let’s focus on Christmas, and the tranquility that comes with it.”

“Oh, alright.” Mrs. Feld squeezes her son one last time. “Come, come! Dinner is ready!” She scurries away again, leaving us both dazed and frazzled.

“Johnny,” I chuckle and shake my head. “God, I luv your family.”

John groans. “Gosh, I’m sorry. She can be a little pushy sometimes.”

I arch an eyebrow. “If you’s ever willing to switch places, I’ll do so gladly in a heartbeat.”

He smirks and pecks one last kiss on my cheek before helping me stand up. “We better go before she starts announcing our wedding day.”

I nod in agreement. “Not completely against the idea…”

John’s eyebrows raise, and I pat his cheek to show I’m not as serious.

“Not yet, John. For now let’s enjoy our merry little Christmas and forget about any future problems. I’m just glad to be here with you!”

He smiles and softly rubs a thumb against my cheek. “I’m always here for you, Kelly. I’ll luv ya ‘till the end, and we’ll always muddle through somehow.”

[guccio2024]

pt. 2. Luberto snow white fanfic

"Alright alberto so I'll be playing the dwarf Doc, Luca will be playing snow white, and you'll be playing prince florian, you'll have three days to get to know your lines and what you have to do, okay." Said Gulila ready to help alberto practice and get ready for the play. "Wanna know a secret?Promise not to tell? We are standing by a wishing wellMake a wish into the wellThat's all you have to doAnd if you hear it echoingYour wish will soon come trueI'm wishing..." luca sang his part of the duet. "Today!It's so sad and lonely, Wishing Well,Longing for someone you never see.Make him love me only, Wishing Well,Won't you grant this favor to me?I'm wishing For the one I love To find meToday. I'm hoping And I'm dreaming of The nice things, He'll say.Tell me, Wishing Well, Will my wish come true? With your magic spell,Won't you tell my loved one what to do? I'm wishing For the one I loveTo find meToday." Alberto Sang along As they continued to practice and the days went by alberto had to meet up with the kids who'd be working back stage and who'd be making the costumes. "Hey, Tiziana can you help us?" "Oh, ciao Gulila what do ya need?" Tiziana asked not turning away from her clip board. "I need you to help get Enrico to tailor the suit to albertos size." "Oh, sure what's his size?" "A etxra small." Said alberto. "Alright, i got you." The outfit was only a size to big so it wouldn't be to big of a project for Enrico. the door swung open and Elliot walked into the room to bother Tiziana for the 8th time today untill she saw alberto. "Oh who are you." Said Elliot obviously trying to flirt with him making him obviously uncomfortable untill gulila grabbed Elliots arm and made her let go of alberto. "I'll have you know He would be LUCA'S BOYFRIEND so go find another person to harass." "Ugh, whatever Gulila. "

[smileysuh]

dumb frat boy - TEASER

🌙 starring. Lee Donghyuck x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. “I’d ask what you want me to do to you, but I did some research last night, watched some of that Hentaid shit you were talking about. It’s a lot of bondage, isn’t it, Angel? A lot of… creampies. You’ve got a thing for being held down and filled, huh? I guess…” he lets out a small laugh, “I guess I’m a little shocked, seeing as you’re so sassy with me. Guess you just want someone to put you in your place. What is it you called Johnny? A good daddy dom? I might not always be a dom, but for you, I can make it work.” 

tw/cw. yandere/stalker sub themes, ‘unknown’ caller, he’s horny, mentions of porn/masturbation, weed/alcohol use, unprotected sex, oral (m/f receiving), deep throating, face fucking, nipple pinching/nipple worship, fingering, dirty talk, praise, hyuck has a thick cock, cum/fullness kink, creampie, etc… I pet names: (hers) Angel (his) baby.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 9.1k

🍭 aus. uni/frat au, yandere subthemes, Halloween, etc…

☀️ mlist + an.  We're back in the Ghostie au! I'm so happy to be able to put out a fic for Hyuck a year after the original story captivated so many of us <3

“Burner phone, baby.”

“And what would be the point of getting a burner phone just to call little ol’ me?” you sigh, relaxing against your pillows and pinching the bridge of your nose in annoyance. 

“Why so serious, Angel?”

“Jeeze, dude, if you’re going to do the whole creepy caller before Halloween cliche, at least stick to your character.” You can’t believe he’s quoting Health Ledger’s Joker at you now. “Who are you even trying to be? Ghost Face is so last Halloween, we all know Johnny knocked that shit out of the park. A copycat sequel is just… early 2000’s.”

“Okay, let me drop character for just a second,” the man on the other end of the line sighs, and you giggle at how his voice modulator emphasizes his own exasperation. “Think, horny telephone guy.”

“I wouldn’t call Ghost Face particularly horny, he was just a nerd.”

“I’m not Ghost Face!” he insists. “Scream came out in the mid-nineties, think earlier than that.” 

“What, am I supposed to be some kind of horror movie expert?” you scoff. 

“Fine, I’ll just tell you,” the guy sighs. “Have you seen Black Christmas?”

“Never even heard of it.”

“Fuck,” he curses. “Well, don’t go watch it, it has some cult following but it’s not even one of my favourites- the reason I chose the dude from that movie is because he’s a horny little fuck and calls a sorority house and some shit- and also, don’t look up the second movie, I don’t claim the sequel.” 

“Wow, I love that you chose a character based purely on horniness and not if the movie is even good,” you giggle.

“Well, Johnny took the best slasher caller! What was I supposed to do? Go all ghost child from The Black Phone movie?”

“What’s The Black Phone movie?”

“Ethan Hawke? Horror veteran, who plays the hero author in Sinister, turned bad guy in the 2021 film by the same director?” 

You let out a whistle. “TBH, dude, it sucks Johnny got to Ghostie first last year, because I’d bet money you know more about horror movies than he does.”

“I one hundred percent do!” 

“Okay, so back to the point,” you laugh. “You’re calling me as this horny dude from some Halloween Christmas movie- for what?”

“To talk to you?” he suggests. “To uh… be horny… at you?” 

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